Gavin Weir and The Infinite Sadness

Hey Star Wars, 

First off, I'm sorry this is being done in a letter. If We had this talk face to face, it would only result in me shouting 'But Han shot first, admit it!' or 'You're defending Jar Jar?!' like it always does. 

Remember when we first met? Life was great then. I'd watch you on VHS for days, until the tape was worn out! You were perfect for me, a finely constructed sci-fi adventure. You influenced my dreams, stories...maybe even life. Back then I even tolerated the Ewoks! Remember that? We were never far from each other during childhood.

But then you went away for a while, when you returned things...changed. Friends and family warned me, but I still found myself falling for you, despite the obvious..additions. I hate to attack your psychical side but, you had extra baggage. I mean, the Han/Jabba bit? What was that all about?! I know you wanted to make it seem like this galaxy-spanning story was epic and interlacing, but the CGI just wasn't up to it and it added nothing to your beautifully simple story. Other needless additions only grated me more, but I still loved you, so I let them slide. Burping frog thing on the external shot of Jabba's palace? Sure...it's funny, right? (I'm not going to mention the added song and dance number that comes after this...it's, still too soon for me to talk about)

Then came the new films. I was so excited! It looked like you'd remembered why we fell for each other again. You promised adventure, Jedi's and a deep backstory to explain how the Empire came to be. But no, you didnt get it did you? Instead of the above, I got this:

Twice after this you would do the same. Build yourself up to be different, but again and again you would let me down. More fool me for believing you, huh?

But it was OK, I still had memories of how you used to be, how you could be again. So I stuck by you. Friends warned me, Hell...strangers warned me! But I believed in you. Like Luke saw the good in Vader, I knew there was still something there, something beautiful that could once again shine. The DVD box-set, this was your biggest chance to change, to undo all the bad things that you had done to me in the past. 

Sigh. 

Who the fuck is that?! Thats not Sebastian Shaw! Why would you ruin this scene?! It makes no sense! I know you've tried to convince me before, but that 'when a fallen Jedi dies, they return to the Force with the appearance of when they were last a Jedi' crap just wont wash with me.  I just don't know how you could change like this? Don't you understand that the Star Wars I grew up with, the Star Wars I spent my childhood with, thats what I love! Not this..altered, changed, bloated mess you've become.

I knew things were coming to an end when your Blu-Ray release was announced. I didn't care. I'm sorry, thats cold I know. But by then, my patience was gone. As cleaned up and amazing as you'll look at 1080p, youre no longer my Star Wars, you belong to that bastard Lucas now.

Finding out you're letting him convert you to 3D was the last wound my heart could take. Don't you see? You're over 30 years old! You've survived this long with out being in 3D, why change?! Dont you see you'll look awful?! People will be laughing at you, mocking you...and thats something I can't deal with anymore. I'm sorry. I don't want to end this, I still deeply love you, but I'd prefer to keep the memories I have of the good times rather than have them replaced with feelings of contempt, regret and shame.

I'll still watch the un-remastered versions of you and remember the good times when Han was still badass and the Gungans didn't appear at the end of Return of the Jedi...

Goodbye, Star Wars. I'll never forget what you gave to me.